Last weekend, we decided to take the boys to watch a big kid wrestling tournament where Mike's cousin was coaching. The boys have really enjoyed their time on the mat this season, and we wanted them to see some experienced wrestlers. His cousin has a great team, and the boys loved being able to watch for a bit. Well, the girl's weren't so excited, so I ended up out in the hall way for a bit following them around. Ainsley and Grace were playing an impromptu game of hide and seek, and so Grace had hid in a little corner. I knew exactly where she was, and was only about 10 feet from her, when this couple came walking by. Ok, so to add to the story, ever since we have been home with Grace, we have existed with people like us. They look like us, and do many of the same things we do, and believe the same things as us. Well, we went into a much more diverse environment when we entered this school. The couple that approached Grace appeared to be Pacific Islander, or some other nationality, that has dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair. Much more similar to Grace than her blonde haired blue eyed siblings. We don't think about it, and the people we are with realize she is adopted and don't think much about it either. Well, this couple instantly became concerned, because she didn't look like anyone around, so they immediately thought she was lost. They approached her, and said, "Where is your family?", "Who are you here with?", even though I was standing right there, looking right at where she was. She became concerned and ran and grabbed my leg, letting everyone know, that her family was close. I also instantly spoke up, saying, "she is mine." They looked at me, and looked back at her, then walked away. This left me with a strange feeling. I know she is mine, just as much as all the other children that follow me around, but from the outside, she doesn't look like she belongs. I was heart broken over this, never wanting her to feel she doesn't belong, because of what other people think. She is our precious baby girl, regardless of what journey she took to get to us. I think God was teaching me something here. When people see us, they see the same person we have always been. Looking in the mirror, besides a few wrinkles and some grey hairs, I don't look a whole lot different than I did when I graduated from high school. I am coming up on my 20 year class reunion, and I am fearful of attending, because people will see me as the same, even though I am vastly different. I am thankfully not the same person I was when I was in high school. I was judgmental, and so unkind sometimes. I felt works were the way my faith was defined instead of love, and I regret treating people a certain way, because of what they did, rather than seeing them as Jesus does. I don't want people to see me and instantly associate me with that person. Here is what has happened since them. I have developed a relationship with my God and know what redemption looks like. I have been "adopted" by the God the universe. Though my outsides may look like the same creature I was when I was in high school, God sees me as his daughter, and knows I am His. I need to grasp that, and not let the way I am perceived shape how I feel about my family ties to my Heavenly father. God took me as His own and changed me on the inside. I may not resemble Him in my body form, but I pray he is changing my insides to look more like Him every day. I want people to see Him in me, looking past the outward appearance that I have had for the last 30 some years. Deep thoughts from the simple questions that couple asked. I love when God lays something on my heart and I feel Him in my thoughts.
Here is what we have been up to lately. We had a great trip to the beach with my sister and her family. We have been bustling through a crazy, and busy month. Wyatt broke his nose, courtesy of his brothers very hard head. We are having to examine our schedule, and look to make choices in what actives we are involved with. The kids continue to grow, and change and become who they are.
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