January

January has almost come to an end.  Where did it go?  Life has a way of rushing past.  I have been wanting to sit down and write down several of my thoughts for awhile, but I think God has been working on it in my brain, until I have a chance to write.
Last weekend, we decided to take the boys to watch a big kid wrestling tournament where Mike's cousin was coaching.  The boys have really enjoyed their time on the mat this season, and we wanted them to see some experienced wrestlers.  His cousin has a great team, and the boys loved being able to watch for a bit.  Well, the girl's weren't so excited, so I ended up out in the hall way for a bit following them around.  Ainsley and Grace were playing an impromptu game of hide and seek, and so Grace had hid in a little corner.  I knew exactly where she was, and was only about 10 feet from her, when this couple came walking by.  Ok, so to add to the story, ever since we have been home with Grace, we have existed with people like us.  They look like us, and do many of the same things we do, and believe the same things as us.  Well, we went into a much more diverse environment when we entered this school. The couple that approached Grace appeared to be Pacific Islander, or some other nationality, that has dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair.  Much more similar to Grace than her blonde haired blue eyed siblings.  We don't think about it, and the people we are with realize she is adopted and don't think much about it either.  Well, this couple instantly became concerned, because she didn't look like anyone around, so they immediately thought she was lost.  They approached her, and said, "Where is your family?", "Who are you here with?", even though I was standing right there, looking right at where she was.  She became concerned and ran and grabbed my leg, letting everyone know, that her family was close.  I also instantly spoke up, saying, "she is mine."  They looked at me, and looked back at her, then walked away.  This left me with a strange feeling.  I know she is mine, just as much as all the other children that follow me around, but from the outside, she doesn't look like she belongs.  I was heart broken over this, never wanting her to feel she doesn't belong, because of what other people think.  She is our precious baby girl, regardless of what journey she took to get to us.  I think God was teaching me something here.  When people see us, they see the same person we have always been.  Looking in the mirror, besides a few wrinkles and some grey hairs, I don't look a whole lot different than I did when I graduated from high school.  I am coming up on my 20 year class reunion, and I am fearful of attending, because people will see me as the same, even though I am vastly different.  I am thankfully not the same person I was when I was in high school.  I was judgmental, and so unkind sometimes.  I felt works were the way my faith was defined instead of love, and I regret treating people a certain way, because of what they did, rather than seeing them as Jesus does.  I don't want people to see me and instantly associate me with that person.  Here is what has happened since them.  I have developed a relationship with my God and know what redemption looks like.  I have been "adopted" by the God the universe.  Though my outsides may look like the same creature I was when I was in high school, God sees me as his daughter, and knows I am His.  I need to grasp that, and not let the way I am perceived shape how I feel about my family ties to my Heavenly father.  God took me as His own and changed me on the inside.  I may not resemble Him in my body form, but I pray he is changing my insides to look more like Him every day.  I want people to see Him in me, looking past the outward appearance that I have had for the last 30 some years.  Deep thoughts from the simple questions that couple asked.  I love when God lays something on my heart and I feel Him in my thoughts.
Here is what we have been up to lately.  We had a great trip to the beach with my sister and her family. We have been bustling through a crazy, and busy month.  Wyatt broke his nose, courtesy of his brothers very hard head.  We are having to examine our schedule, and look to make choices in what actives we are involved with.  The kids continue to grow, and change and become who they are.

Merry Christmas!

OK, I am two days early.  Probably the first time I have been early since late summer.  Seems like we are always pushing the very limits of our time right now.  Well, not right now, because I am actually getting a chance to sit and type for a few minutes.  School got out Friday, and we have pretty much not planned anything this first part of break.  Don't get me wrong, we are not sitting on the couch looking at each other, but for the most part, we have the freedom to do what we want.  Right now my kids are bouncing on the trampoline (yes, outside because it is beautiful out there), watching Arthur Christmas, and taking a nap.  Not all at the same time of course.  Freedom is the opportunity to explore what is truly fun and fulfilling.  We have watched movies together, played games, looked at beautiful Christmas lights and built gingerbread houses.  We walked to lunch and to Costco to pick up pictures.  We enjoyed the sunshine.  I love the crazy pace we keep normally, but it is so nice to just stop and feel calm and relaxed.  Well, as calm and relaxed as you can feel with 5 kids.
I am so excited to be celebrating Christmas looking at a green lawn.  I know a white Christmas is popular and all, but personally I am in favor of a Christmas that is green.  We had a "snow" occurrence on Friday, so school was cancelled.  It was so funny to see schools delay school when there was barely and inch of snow.  I remember NWC was so proud of the fact that they kept open until it was nearly impossible to get to school.  An inch was laughable in Spokane, but here it is a major event.  So we got our brief white Christmas and we have returned to the weather I moved over here to enjoy.  The kids have barely pulled out their winter coats at this point.  I am loving it.
We have managed to do many of the traditional holiday things, even with our crazy schedules.  We watched the Nutcracker, thank you Kaylee, we got a Christmas tree, thank you Bacon's tree farm, we saw some amazing lights, thank you Zoolights and Spanaway fantasy of lights, we saw a living nativity, we enjoyed our kids wonderful Christmas program, and we watch our favorite Christmas movies.  I am baking today, which is probably for the best.  I was not forced to eat way too many sweets throughout the month by starting early.  The boys have also continued to play soccer outside in December, we were able to watch the boys do great in their first wrestling match, and, for the most part, have felt a little less excited about basketball than normal.  Ainsley is the exception.  She loves basketball, and so far, seems to be heading in the right direction height wise.  She is the tallest on her Kindergarten basketball team.  She is also the toughest.  I think she may have found something she can use her natural instincts in.  We are constantly telling her to be gentle, and don't take things from people just because you want them.  Well, in basketball, it is good to be a bit tough and stealing is encouraged.  We'll see where that goes.
I have been reminded of the grace our Lord has gifted us with.  When I start to feel guilty for not doing enough, or not being enough, I am reminded of Jesus and how He is enough.  I fall short so much of the time, but He never does.  My teaching has given me a chance to remember why I love science, and how it fits so perfectly with our creator God.  I love pointing out to my students the way you can see God's fingers in everything.  He is an amazing creator.  Anyway, school is good, and I am truly loving it.  So are the kids.  They seem to be thriving in their new environments.  They have been forced from their comfort zones, and they all seem to have taken it in stride.
Other than that, I think I will let the pictures tell the story.  We are feeling more settled, but still missing our Spokane friends.  Everyone seems to be making new ones, but we will always have a special place for those we left behind.  We do pray your Christmas is joyful and love filled.

 Christmas Tree hike

 They are all watching Brandt cut down the tree

 Ainsley running the saw

 Wyatt on the saw

 There they go with the tree

 The girls weren't thrilled with Santa this year.  We saw him arrive on a firetruck downtown.

 4 of the kids ready for their Christmas concert

 Enough snow to make a snowman

 Annual Gingerbread house building

October

So the year has blown by and I am not sure I realized how crazy we would end up being.  So last time I updated, life had just passed over into a crazy zone.  We were pushed out of the home we were renting, when a rainstorm met our uncovered open roof.  The house looks to have sustained close to $50,000 worth of damage and the reconstruction had not even begun by the time we were able to secure a new home to move into.  We are now renting a house right across the street from Costco.  Life has never been so convenient.  We also moved into a home with a yard about the size of our old master bedroom. Makes for interesting time outside.  The kids are so busy, that they don't seem to miss the large yard yet.  I have a feeling by spring, we will all be missing our outside space.  For me, it will just save on the destruction that takes place in the house when the boys are forced to spend time inside.
Anyway, onto what the Kelly crew has been up to.  We moved into our house on the first day of school.  Looking back, I am shocked and amazed that we made it through that time.  After living in hotels for nearly a month, and commuting to our community about 45 minutes each way, it was very comfortable to be able to move into a real house and live within 10 minutes of everything.  The move itself was stressful and led to a severe feeling of unsettledness (is that a word?).  It was just minutes before the last house flooded that I had said how nice it was to feel settled and ready to get started on the new adventures of school.  Well, God had other things in mind for us.  It was an opportunity for us to practice patience and to learn to be grateful for what we have.  I am getting it God.  Thank you for the lesson.
I have found that teaching school is God's plan for me right now.  I have been through the season of life where I was home with my babies, but God has planted me at my school for this time, and I have learned a couple of things.  First off, the verse that I felt impressed on me from the beginning is from Esther, and to paraphrases, speaks out being prepared for a time such as this.  I feel God has been laying the foundation in my life to prepare me to be where I am right now, teaching junior high science.   I love it.  I look forward to getting into the classroom every day.  I want to be the best I can be and I want to provide valuable opportunity for my students.  They are awesome.  The other lesson I have been learning is found in the verse when Jesus talks about his yoke.  He calls his yoke easy.  I don't think he means "laying on the couch" easy.  I think he means it will seem effortless.  The oxen in the yoke still have to strain and work to plow the field, but the yoke they are wearing is easy.  It fits just right.  It is made just for that oxen to pull.  I feel God has made a yoke for me, and I am exhausted and challenged because I am pulling the plow, but it feels like a perfect fit.  It was made for me.  I was made to teach and I was prepared for a time such as this.  It is a joy to watch God work and to be allowed to see His work first hand.
Speaking of seeing God's work, we have had our sweet, precious baby girl for a year now.  I love looking at the pictures from our trip to China, and of her when she first was placed in our arms, but I love it even more when I get to see the girl she has become.  She hugs with desperation sometimes, and she craves my arms more often than her siblings did, and she is very emotional, but she is so much a part of our family, we feel she has been here forever.  She loves her siblings and she loves her parents.  She looks for all of us for comfort and fun.  She makes our life joyful and challenging all at the same time.  My heart still breaks when I remember where she has come from, and from the lost history she will now endure.  I hurt for the woman that left her sitting on the hospital steps the day she was born.  I am madly in love with her and selfishly wish she had been with us from the first day.  I feel like the first years of her life were a long waiting period for her.  She was forced to wait to start life for real.  I hope we are able to fill her life with so much love and laughter that she never feels cheated of the time she was without her people (our family).  I am amazed everyday by the God I serve, and the blessings he has placed in our life.  I have no words to describe the emotions I feel when I think of all He has done for us.
So onto the other monkeys.  The boys are all playing soccer, and doing great.  We have found some really good kids for them to hang out with.  Ainsley has become so theatrical, and loves her ballet class.  All four of the big kids are doing well in school.  They have found the new school to be very welcoming and each kid has begun to make friends.  We are busier than we have ever been.  We are still looking for a church to call our church home.  We know God has a place for us. Other than that, same old story.  Follow the kids around all day, then reconvene in our home for dinner before homework and bed.  Life is good.  God is good.

 Sneak peak of family pictures.  I love Grace in this one.  

 My absolute favorite place for pics of the kids is the pumpkin patch.  First time in 7 years it isn't take at Seimers :(.  

 Mike and the boys worked to pumpkin catapult.

 First day of school

 Ainsley made friends with all the slugs in our yard.

 This is the way I dress now.  Just kidding.  I got to be a part of a skit at Middle school retreat.  So fun.

Rainy Chaos

Just when I thought life had finally started to settle down into some sort of normal, God decided we needed to be shaken up a bit.  The house we are renting was having its roof redone.  Well, during this process, the roof is not in place, so if something like a large rain storm rolls through, the house will be wide open to the rain.  Low and behold, when the entire roof was off, and untarped, we had a huge rain storm.  Mike and I woke up at 12:05 AM to the awesome thunder and lightening we were having, and then bolted out of bed when we realized the rain that was falling outside was also falling inside.  Not good news in the middle of the night.  We then spent the next three hours protecting our stuff as much as we could from the 20ish leaks that were in our ceiling.  It was really exciting when the fire alarms filled with water, shorted out and started going off, and we realized none of our kids woke up.  We had to pull them out of the ceiling to turn them off, but as soon as one went off, they all went off.  It was a very loud night.  The kids did all wake up when water was dripping over their beds or in their rooms.  We finally put them all in the one room that wasn't leaking and set them up with a movie until we could figure out if we were going to need to leave the house or not.  The Princess Bride is wonderful even in the worst circumstances.  After the rain stopped and we were confident we had all of the leaks under control we all settled in to finish out the short night.  So here we sit 2 days later in a hotel, which is not the same hotel as we stayed in last night, waiting for Mike to meet with the owner and the property manager.  Hopefully we will have a plan for the next couple of weeks.  School starts for me in two weeks and for the kids in 3 and a half.  Crazy to think we may not be in a house at all during that time.  The damage is extensive, knowing if they are going to fix it, we will be displaced for weeks.  Fun with 5 kids and 2 animals.  I am trying to understand what God is showing me through this process.  I have complete confidence that all things work together for good for those who love God.  All things, even the crazy, unbelievable, inconvenient things.  We are together as a family and at least tonight we have adjoining rooms.  Wasn't the case last night, when I had to spend my anniversary night in a different room than my husband.  I am excited to see what God has for us in this.  We are told to be thankful in all things.  In ALL things.  So I am choosing to be thankful.  It doesn't make sense to be thankful, but that is the command from God, and he has been so faithful.  Do I have any other choice?  My prayer for months has been, God, let me show people your glory.  I pray this is an opportunity.
Tomorrow we travel to Seattle to take Grace to her all day palate board appointment.  I am excited to see what we are going to be able to do for her.  She is such a precious gift.  We are on the big count down to the start of school, and I am getting excited.  I want to do what I feel God has called me to do. I want to do what is His will.  I am positive I will see Him work through me, and I want to give Him all the "Glory".  Again with that word.
The rest of the kids are holding up fine.  They are precious and concerned about the sweetest things.  We weren't sure the ceiling was going to hold, so we told them to grab their most valuable things from their rooms.  It was insightful to see what they see as valuable.  They grabbed things like books and favorite stuffed animals, blankets and pillows.  They grab items they had made, and things people had given them.  They grabbed things that evoked good memories.  I was scrambling to make sure all my pictures that are not saved on any sort of digital format were safe and not getting soaked and destroyed. I realized how little I cared about stuff to save it and I saw that my concern was my family and my memories.
We will go forward from here and look back someday and just smile about the crazy time we lived through.  We will continue to seek God through this all.  We will feel blessed for what we have and that what is really important is here in this tiny hotel room with us.

Changes

I don't know if I have any new pictures on here yet, so this may just be a boring old post with boring old words.  I just feel like there has been so much happen, I need to lay it out there and look at it from the outside.  We have been home with our daughter for almost 10 months.  10 months feels like a very long time.  It feels like a long time because, she has changed in so many profound ways since we first held her in our arms, I am almost having trouble remembering what she was like.  She is a live picture of the transformation that happens when love enters a life.  I don't know if she was loved before we held her in our arms.  I assume her birth mother had feelings for her, though baby girl was abandoned the day she was born.  The nannies we too busy to do much of anything but care for her physical needs, so I am assuming they didn't love her either.  She was so neglected emotionally when we got her, it was just heart wrenching.  Fast forward 10 months, and we now have  a little girl that shows so much emotion, it sometimes catches you off guard.  She will hug and hold on tight, knowing that you show love through hugs.  She will give kisses to everyone.  She will throw herself to the floor in a full fledged tantrum when feeling extreme emotion because mommy said no.  She hates to be without her people.  She wants to know we are near.  We were able to leave her in the nursery at church last Sunday, because sister got to stay in the same class with her.  She had a wonderful time, but was jumping up and down when she saw mommy and daddy again.  When Mike comes home, as soon as she hears his voice she starts yelling and signing daddy.  She is in love with us as much as we are in love with her.  We wonder if she even remembers life before us.  We wonder if she misses it.  I don't know what she will deal with as she gets older, but right now, she looks into our eyes, and I see unveiled love.  She is precious and I am in love with her as well.  We have settled in as a family and we are growing up together.  I am curious to see where she goes from here.  On a physical note, we are heading up to the Children's hospital the beginning of next month to have her evaluated by the cleft team.  We get to show up and sit in a room for hours as the specialists cycle through.  They then meet and develop a plan for her.  I am happy we have the opportunity to get her the best care, but I am sad she is going to have to go through all of this.  She really doesn't like hospitals or doctor's offices.  She doesn't like doctors or nurses very much either, so I expect I will spend a lot of time holding her and trying to keep her calm as we wait in our little room.  Maybe she will surprise me.  I plan to come prepared with electronic games and lots of snacks.  Food makes her happy.  Speaking of, she has gained a couple more pounds and she is now up to 23 pounds.  Itty bitty for a normal 30 month old, but we are excited.  She has gained about 6 1/2 pounds since we got her.
Again, I want to remind you all that this journey has not been easy, but it has been so very worth it.  If you ever consider adopting, do it.  If you ever need to talk about adopting, please talk to us.  We share our experience any chance we get.  It is an amazing opportunity to watch God work.  He is so real in this whole process and I am blessed to be a part of His story.

 There's our hugger :)

 Ainsley with her new American Girl Doll

 We went and explored near our new home.  We found several sand dollars.  The kids were thrilled.

 Mike and I went on a real date.  Crazy.

When Nic and Joseph visited, we went to Pike's Place Market.  We are sitting on the pig.

Different pieces that fit the puzzle of our family

Many times I like to reflect on the personalities that make up my household.  They are all so unique and beautiful, and fit together so well, even when it seems all I do is break up conflict.  Story time.  Yesterday, we went to the zoo and grocery shopping.  I love living 15 minutes from the zoo.  We have gone twice in the last two weeks.  Anyway, after the zoo, and Trader Joe's, we made our last stop at Costco.  Wyatt has been squirreling away money for awhile now, and he remembered to bring it into the store.  My rules are, I don't extend credit.  If you want to buy something, you have to have cash in hand.  Well, needless to say, he was so excited to buy something.  I was expecting him to pick out a new book or something along those lines, but instead he completely surprised me.  He asked if he could buy his sister a pillow pet.  I quickly thought, oh no, you don't need to spend your money on your sister, but then just as quickly, I realized that was who he was.  He loves to get things for the people around him.  This is not the first time he has offered.  He wants to give them gifts that make them happy.  I let him buy it for her, and he was so happy.  It was so neat to watch that little man of mine show me his amazingly generous heart.  Later that day, he pinched her on the back because he didn't want to share the trampoline, but that is another story, and I will just remember the Costco adventure.  He ended up also buying a magazine for his brother, and then had his heart broken when his other brother decided to completely hurt his feelings.  I won't remember that part of the story either.  I love my kids.  They give me knew perspectives everyday, and allow me to learn something about human nature, and see God working in their lives.
Five kids.  How did we get to five kids?  People look at us from the outside and just shake their heads.  I couldn't imagine one less.  They are each placed in my life for a distinct reason.  I am complete when they are near.  They have made me who I am.  I enjoy spending time with them and listening to what they have to say.  Many times I glimpse their heart and who they are becoming when I slow down and have a conversation with them.  They teach me to observe the world and see what is around me, instead of maintaining the insane pace I naturally maintain.  I am richer because of them, not financially, but in all the important ways.
Life is so brief.  We were able to celebrate the life of a dear man over the weekend.  I learned so much from him.  He was strong, generous, caring, and taught me what it looked like to sacrifice everything for his family.  His priorities were God, family, and then everything else.  He showed me what unconditional love was, and he gave me the best friend I have.  Mike's dad will be missed for his wit and his sense of humor.  He will be mourned for the loss of his loyalty and love.  We are praying God will heal the empty spot in our hearts, but we are also embracing the pain, knowing all things work together for good, for those who love Jesus.

We went to Jen's for the 4th and ran in the mini marathon.  The Kelly's represented Anytime Fitness well, bringing home 3 ribbons.  

 After months of baby girl rocking in her sleep to comfort herself, it is so awesome to see how relaxed she is now when she is sleeping.

 The boys' hoopfest teams

 Some of the best summer memories are spent in the pool at Aunt Gaye and Uncle Jerry's house

 Love the zoo

 My kids were literally climbing the walls