Changes

I don't know if I have any new pictures on here yet, so this may just be a boring old post with boring old words.  I just feel like there has been so much happen, I need to lay it out there and look at it from the outside.  We have been home with our daughter for almost 10 months.  10 months feels like a very long time.  It feels like a long time because, she has changed in so many profound ways since we first held her in our arms, I am almost having trouble remembering what she was like.  She is a live picture of the transformation that happens when love enters a life.  I don't know if she was loved before we held her in our arms.  I assume her birth mother had feelings for her, though baby girl was abandoned the day she was born.  The nannies we too busy to do much of anything but care for her physical needs, so I am assuming they didn't love her either.  She was so neglected emotionally when we got her, it was just heart wrenching.  Fast forward 10 months, and we now have  a little girl that shows so much emotion, it sometimes catches you off guard.  She will hug and hold on tight, knowing that you show love through hugs.  She will give kisses to everyone.  She will throw herself to the floor in a full fledged tantrum when feeling extreme emotion because mommy said no.  She hates to be without her people.  She wants to know we are near.  We were able to leave her in the nursery at church last Sunday, because sister got to stay in the same class with her.  She had a wonderful time, but was jumping up and down when she saw mommy and daddy again.  When Mike comes home, as soon as she hears his voice she starts yelling and signing daddy.  She is in love with us as much as we are in love with her.  We wonder if she even remembers life before us.  We wonder if she misses it.  I don't know what she will deal with as she gets older, but right now, she looks into our eyes, and I see unveiled love.  She is precious and I am in love with her as well.  We have settled in as a family and we are growing up together.  I am curious to see where she goes from here.  On a physical note, we are heading up to the Children's hospital the beginning of next month to have her evaluated by the cleft team.  We get to show up and sit in a room for hours as the specialists cycle through.  They then meet and develop a plan for her.  I am happy we have the opportunity to get her the best care, but I am sad she is going to have to go through all of this.  She really doesn't like hospitals or doctor's offices.  She doesn't like doctors or nurses very much either, so I expect I will spend a lot of time holding her and trying to keep her calm as we wait in our little room.  Maybe she will surprise me.  I plan to come prepared with electronic games and lots of snacks.  Food makes her happy.  Speaking of, she has gained a couple more pounds and she is now up to 23 pounds.  Itty bitty for a normal 30 month old, but we are excited.  She has gained about 6 1/2 pounds since we got her.
Again, I want to remind you all that this journey has not been easy, but it has been so very worth it.  If you ever consider adopting, do it.  If you ever need to talk about adopting, please talk to us.  We share our experience any chance we get.  It is an amazing opportunity to watch God work.  He is so real in this whole process and I am blessed to be a part of His story.

 There's our hugger :)

 Ainsley with her new American Girl Doll

 We went and explored near our new home.  We found several sand dollars.  The kids were thrilled.

 Mike and I went on a real date.  Crazy.

When Nic and Joseph visited, we went to Pike's Place Market.  We are sitting on the pig.

Different pieces that fit the puzzle of our family

Many times I like to reflect on the personalities that make up my household.  They are all so unique and beautiful, and fit together so well, even when it seems all I do is break up conflict.  Story time.  Yesterday, we went to the zoo and grocery shopping.  I love living 15 minutes from the zoo.  We have gone twice in the last two weeks.  Anyway, after the zoo, and Trader Joe's, we made our last stop at Costco.  Wyatt has been squirreling away money for awhile now, and he remembered to bring it into the store.  My rules are, I don't extend credit.  If you want to buy something, you have to have cash in hand.  Well, needless to say, he was so excited to buy something.  I was expecting him to pick out a new book or something along those lines, but instead he completely surprised me.  He asked if he could buy his sister a pillow pet.  I quickly thought, oh no, you don't need to spend your money on your sister, but then just as quickly, I realized that was who he was.  He loves to get things for the people around him.  This is not the first time he has offered.  He wants to give them gifts that make them happy.  I let him buy it for her, and he was so happy.  It was so neat to watch that little man of mine show me his amazingly generous heart.  Later that day, he pinched her on the back because he didn't want to share the trampoline, but that is another story, and I will just remember the Costco adventure.  He ended up also buying a magazine for his brother, and then had his heart broken when his other brother decided to completely hurt his feelings.  I won't remember that part of the story either.  I love my kids.  They give me knew perspectives everyday, and allow me to learn something about human nature, and see God working in their lives.
Five kids.  How did we get to five kids?  People look at us from the outside and just shake their heads.  I couldn't imagine one less.  They are each placed in my life for a distinct reason.  I am complete when they are near.  They have made me who I am.  I enjoy spending time with them and listening to what they have to say.  Many times I glimpse their heart and who they are becoming when I slow down and have a conversation with them.  They teach me to observe the world and see what is around me, instead of maintaining the insane pace I naturally maintain.  I am richer because of them, not financially, but in all the important ways.
Life is so brief.  We were able to celebrate the life of a dear man over the weekend.  I learned so much from him.  He was strong, generous, caring, and taught me what it looked like to sacrifice everything for his family.  His priorities were God, family, and then everything else.  He showed me what unconditional love was, and he gave me the best friend I have.  Mike's dad will be missed for his wit and his sense of humor.  He will be mourned for the loss of his loyalty and love.  We are praying God will heal the empty spot in our hearts, but we are also embracing the pain, knowing all things work together for good, for those who love Jesus.

We went to Jen's for the 4th and ran in the mini marathon.  The Kelly's represented Anytime Fitness well, bringing home 3 ribbons.  

 After months of baby girl rocking in her sleep to comfort herself, it is so awesome to see how relaxed she is now when she is sleeping.

 The boys' hoopfest teams

 Some of the best summer memories are spent in the pool at Aunt Gaye and Uncle Jerry's house

 Love the zoo

 My kids were literally climbing the walls

Everything Changes

So, we are officially living in Gig Harbor.  I would not have imagined even 6 months ago this is where we would be right now.  We are living in a quiet little neighborhood, in Gig Harbor, renting a house for the first time in 13 years, starting in a new school, looking for a new church, and the changes go on.  The last post, I referred to a teaching position I was pursuing.  Well, it looks like I will be teaching middle school science, part time at my kids' school next year.  Every single piece to the puzzle has amazingly fallen into place.  I prayed God would make it easy for me to accept the position.  I prayed it would only work out smoothly, or it was not where God wanted me.  Well, it has slipped into place almost without effort.  The interview went well, the daycare on campus has made a place for Grace, and we just interviewed a caregiver for Ainsley, when she doesn't have school on Friday mornings.  Everything has worked out, and I know God has set this up for me.  I am scared of starting something new, but that is just my personality.  I am going to have to rely on God and know He has prepared me for this.  Sometimes the path we end up on is in a completely different direction than where we intended to go, but it is exactly where we are supposed to be.
Grace is doing wonderful.  She is picking up new sounds every day.  She uses the word "no" like she has been saying it for years.  Always in context and exactly when she should be saying yes, so exactly like every other 2 year old.  She also loves to scream "Mom" from the back seat of the car. Not just "Mom", but "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom" until I physically turn around and look at her.  Not always possible when I am driving, so I end up hearing it a lot.  She has also developed a real dislike of being separated from  her mom and dad.  She refused to go to childcare at church, so she has heard some stimulating sermons by our great pastor Kyle, only adding comments occasionally.  Thankfully Kyle pretends not to hear.  Last week I had to grab her as she was running towards the stage where Daddy was playing in the worship team.  She is so much fun, and so full of energy.  I look back at the pictures from October and it feels like years have passed, not just months, though we are nearing 9 months.  We can't really picture life without her anymore.  Like right now, she is attempting to "help" me write my blog.  If you see any typos, I will just blame her.
The rest of the kids are good.  Mike is putting together their springfree trampoline right now.  It is a tool I will be using regularly to burn the extra energy they all seem to possess.  I may take a turn or two as well, because it is just plain fun.  Brandt has joined a soccer team here and he likes the kids he is playing with.  It has been a good experience for him, and I think it will make the transition smoother.  Holden will be trying out for a team next week.  I am looking into gymnastics, ballet, and now riding lessons, because my sweet daughter just "dreams" about riding horses.  I hope to join the Y and get the kids in swim lessons, and fill the rest of our summer with fun and getting to know our community.  We can already see how nice it is to have Mike home more.  He went to work today, but is home now, and will be able to sit down to dinner with us.  It is going to be such a blessing.  We are looking forward to spending a couple days with my sister for the 4th, then over to Ellensburg for a bit.  Mike's dad passed away very suddenly a few weeks ago.  We are working through that as well and holding onto the belief that we will come through this stronger.  God is good and His plan is perfect.  When we start to analyze every single day and lose track of the big picture, we can easily become buried in our circumstances.  He has the big picture, we don't.  We won't understand until we are standing with him in Heaven.  He is amazing and we know he works all things (yes, all things) out for good for those who believe in Him.  We cling to that everyday and just keep walking in faith.

So it looks like I haven't uploaded pictures for awhile.  I will include more with my next blog.  Here are a couple of Ainsley on her recital day.

And this was Mike's father's day present.

Lack of faith

OK, time for a mind dump.  Life has marched right on and I have failed to capture any of it on this blog.  When I last left off, we were waiting patiently (haha) to sell our house and we were starting to think about the details of our big move.  By starting, we had pretty much just set a date that we would quit making commitments here in Spokane.  We have moved in fast forward for the last month and I will try to fill you in.  Two weeks ago, Mike and I traveled to Gig Harbor to get some things settled, hopefully rent a house and find a school for the kids.  I was feeling hopeless and even said to my mom as I was leaving, don't worry about keeping the house nice, it will never sell.  Yep, always so optimistic, I was completely burned out and feeling sorry for myself.  I was feeling like we would never sell our house, we would never find a place to live and the school we were visiting would probably be a poor choice for our kids.  God must have thought I was acting pretty silly.  Or maybe he was up there say, "Selina, just wait and see what I have for you."  I wasn't really listening, so I don't know what he said.  I was just lost in myself.  So, when we got to town, we got a call from our realtor, letting us know we had an offer on our house.  It wasn't an offer we were willing to accept, so we counter offered and went back and forth for a bit, and 10 days ago, we came to mutual agreement on a contract to sell our house.  Praise God.  One big thing accomplished by God.  Feeling a little peace.  When we were searching for a home to rent, we were having a lot of difficulty.  Many of the places we were interested in, would rent almost instantly.  Again, me of little faith, I was thinking we would never find a house.  We visited the school we wanted to send our kids to, and it turned out to be a great fit for our kids.  They offer many activities our kids love, as well as having a strong faith foundation.  We had a great tour and the principal gave us all the right answers to our questions.  Thanks God, there is answer number two.  When we got out of the interview, I checked the craigslist one more time and a house that would work for us had just popped up.  We called right away and waited to hear if we were quick enough.  We really like the location, being just 10 min. from the school and it looked like a quiet neighborhood.  As we were driving around, Mike got a message on his phone.  It was from the school.  Seems they are looking for a science teacher.  I must have mentioned that I was a science teacher during the tour.  They wanted to know if I would apply for the position.  I haven't been in the classroom in eleven years, when I became a stay at home mom, and I never had full time classroom experience.  I prayed about it, and couldn't commit to teaching full time.  I still have baby girl at home, but I considered it if there was a part time position.  When I went back into the school the next day to drop off the kids applications, I talked with the person who had contacted me.  I let her know of my limited experience, and my desire to only work part time.  She said to apply anyway and see what happens.  After I left that time, I got another call, letting me know if I was to get the job, I would teach in the morning and there is possible candidates for the other portion of the position.  I was shocked.  Anyway, I have been praying for God to just open doors, and make it easy if this is the time for me to be in the classroom, and to make it impossible if this is not the time.  I want to do what is best for my kids, and working in their school has always been a desire of mine.  I have an interview next week and I will just see what happens.  So after all this, we did get the house and the timing works out perfect for us to move and have a little overlapping time.  God is good.  He knew He was working it all out, I was just so doubtful and afraid.  I try to learn a little bit more each time He walks me through something like this, but I must be a slow learner in the trusting, and faith portion of my life.  Thankfully God is faithful, even when I am faithless.

 Backyard marshmallow roast

 My man has hops

 Manito Park

 Memorial day camping trip

 Grubby camping face

 Brother is actually really good with his sisters

 Getting ready to try some fishing

The Kelly men fishing

May, beautiful May

I love May.  When the weather cooperates, it is the most beautiful time of year.  We all feel like we are emerging from our den where we have been hibernating all winter.  The kids spend hours in the yard, and we finally get to utilize the beautiful parks our city provides.  I love this month.  We have had unseasonably warm weather this past week and I have been soaking it in, spending every spare minute outside.  God is reminding us that even the ugly, cold seasons pass and beauty emerges.  I am trying to remember that in our life right now.  Mike has been working two territories since March.  He has control over his old territory, and he has taken over his new one.  This results is him being gone all week and only home on the weekends.  It is a new and trying time for us.  I remind myself every day that the reason we are doing this is so we can live in an area that will allow him to be home every night.  Sometimes though, that gets lost and I feel like this "season" will last forever.  We have had our house on the market for 2 months.  We have had regular showings, so the house must always be ready to show.  With 5 very busy kids, it feels like my life is in a constant state of frustration, walking behind my living mess makers.  They are amazing at the ability to completely destroy a room, house, yard in the time it takes me to turn around.  I love them so much, and I know they get tired of me constantly saying, don't touch that wall, pick up after yourselves, don't put your feet on the windows.  Sometimes I just start giggling because it is so crazy what damage they can do.  I can't wait until our house is sold and I don't have to feel this way anymore.  It is also testing whether or not I truly believe what I say, when I say, God is in control.  I know he is, but I get overwhelmed by the details, I feel like I have the faith of a feather.  I pray constantly for God to take away my doubt and fear and give me just a tiny bit of faith that ALL things work together for good for those who love Him.  I am realizing how frail and weak I truly am.
Ok done feeling sorry for myself.  I am loving this season in life with the kids.  They are getting so grown up and I am seeing the people they are becoming.  God is so good.  He gave me these precious babies, and on this Mother's Day weekend, I am feeling so blessed.  I love them and I love being a mom.  All the rest of the stuff kind of fades when I remember that.  So thank you God for giving me these crazy little people to hang out with and love and watch turn into the adults You are making them into.
I am heading to the dark side of the state with Mike in about a week to find a place to live and visit a new school for the kids.  I pray God's plan is laid out and we are able to just finalize some things while we are there.  Please pray with me for that.

 Warming up for Bloomsday

 Lunch in the sun and Grace was really into her sandwich

 Watching the parade go by

 Brandt playing his trumpet in his first parade.  It was so fun to go and watch him.

 My silly girls

 Isn't she healing nicely?  She likes to scrunch her nose.

 Showing some "character"

 Love these two

 Holden playing some soccer

 And Wyatt playing some soccer

Post Bloomsday picture