Happy Spring

Hello all,
I am finally taking a couple of minutes to sit at the computer.  It has been very neglected for the last month, because we have been very busy around here.  We have worked against all odds and five children to finally get our house on the market.  It has been listed for 1 week and 3 days and we have had 3 families look at it.  The realtors seem to think it shows well, so we are going to just sit and wait for a bit.  I know God has this part of the plan figured out already, and I am praying daily for the faith to believe that.  I have been struggling with my unbelief lately.  We have seen God's hand working during this time, and I still can't believe that he would have it all worked out for his Glory already.  I am clinging to this belief that He doesn't know what he is doing.  I get scared and anxious and stressed out, knowing that I should be walking in faith and trusting that God's plan for us is perfect and is worked out already.  Why am I so quick to carry this burden, pretending that I have any control at all?  Maybe that is what the problem is.  I may have control freak tendencies.  Um, OK I will be honest, I like to be in control.  I like to know how we are going to get from point A to point B, and C and D and E, and well, you get the picture.  I don't know how to just hang loose and go with the flow.  God may be doing this for a reason.  Could it be, He would like me to learn to trust Him?  When I am telling the kids about God and how amazing He is, and that He has a plan for their life, am I being the world's biggest hypocrite?  I am so glad I am saved by grace and not by works.  What a mess I am, but what a glorious God I serve.  I am rejoicing in that knowledge tonight.
As far as how life is going, well, it is going.  We try to stay as busy as possibly in order to avoid being home.  It is much easier to keep a house clean when you are not in it.  So, we take drives and sit in parking lots, and watch many practices and games and gymnastics and dance.  I look for any excuse to jump in the car.  I can't wait until our house sells so we can start living in our house again.  So far the kids have been pretty good about helping out.  What I really mean is, they haven't torn it down yet.  I have to gently remind them regularly to keep their fingers and mouths off the walls and windows.  We also moved our table out of the kitchen to help maintain the newly refinished hardwood floors.  Because of that, we have picnics at every meal.  Here is Ainsley enjoying breakfast on the floor.  Good thing we are still young, and can all get up off the floor when the meal is over.

 Because we have to have our house ready to show, we were taking down Grace's portable crib every morning and then after her nap.  It was really a hassle to put it back up when Grace was ready to go to bed, so I just decided to move her to her big girl bed.  As you can see, she seems to do just fine on it.  This was her first nap in her big girl bed.

 Ainsley turned 5 last week.  Not sure where the time has gone, but it is so fun having a little girl, and watching her grow up.  I am so blessed to have two.  Ainsley, Grace and I joined two other mother/daughter pairs for a trip to the American Girl Doll store at the Alderwood mall.  It was so fun.  Ainsley added to her collection and had a wonderful time with the girls.  We also took her to dinner when we were back home and Grandma was able to join us.  Ainsley had a great day.

 Mike and I haven't seen each other much these last few weeks.  He is gone a lot more than normal right now, so when Grace's palate surgery got canceled because she had a cold, we took advantage of a free day.  We started out with a coffee date.  I just love Grace's pigtails.  We think her surgery will be rescheduled for sometime in late April.

 Auntie Gaye got Grace the cutest sunglasses, and I think she wears them very well :).

 On Sunday, we had to kill some time, so we went to the local outdoor show.  All four of the big kids and their dad lined up for an electronic skeet shoot.  It was so cute to watch each of them wielding a gun, even the princess down at the end.  Brandt was our sharpshooter for the game.

Life continues to move on.  We are waiting anxiously for our house to sell, but in the mean time, we are just living, and watching our kids grow and change.  We are blessed by amazing, thoughtful friends, and we are going to miss them so much.  I think I am beginning to accept the fact that we are moving, but I do manage to slip back into denial when I need to.

Paradise

So we have been going morning to night on vacation.  Today was a minimal car day, we spent most of the day at the pool and at the beach.  We did run to Walmart and Costco for a few necessities.  The kids loved their relaxing day and are ready for an early night so we are ready to get up and go to Pearl Harbor Memorial in the morning.  We spent part of yesterday with another family from home and we will be meeting up with some more friends on Thursday.  It is cool knowing a few other families over here right now.  The kids are able to spend some time with some of their friends, and take a break from their siblings.
I wanted to include this tidbit about Grace so I can document when it began.  About a week ago, Grace fell asleep in the car.  I needed to run into Target, so I just picked her up out of her car seat and she stayed asleep on my shoulder.  The next few days, she would fall asleep in the car, and I was able to move her asleep into her crib.  Not a big deal to many of you, and I didn't realize it right away, but my baby girl used to wake up scared anytime she was moved.  If we woke her up, she would be scared and angry.  That is no longer the case.  She is now relaxed enough to stay asleep on my shoulder.  I think this is a big deal.  I think it is cool that she is comfortable with us moving her, even when she is asleep.  I may be making this up, but I feel like it is another step in her accepting us as her family.  I see it as a major step in her attachment to us.
Here are a few pics from the last couple of days here.  Aloha all.

We went to the Dole Pineapple Plantation.  Fun, and yummy.

 Holden

 Brandt

 Ainsley

 Wyatt

 The pineapple express

 Shave ice from Matsumoto's.  Yummy!

 My sweet baby girl and her pigtails :)  

 Love my brood

 Watching fish

Holden dominated the bars contest.  He could have gone back and forth forever.  I think we are heading in the right direction with gymnastics.

Aloha

Greetings from the islands.  We are here and having a wonderful time.  I love Hawaii and I love the affect it has on me and my family.  We come here and everyone forgets the stress and fatigue we live with everyday back home.  We relax and spend hours together.  I watched as my grumpy, over scheduled family begins to get along and play joyfully with each other for hours.  They learn about the relationships they have with each other and they develop new affection for each other.  I know we don't have to be in Hawaii to get these feelings, just alone as a family with nothing to do.  Unfortunately, we don't get that very often.  I feel like I could do a better job of setting time apart for us to just focus on each other, but then everyday life gets in the way.  I am thankful for this time, and I am going to savor every single minute.  The kids are winding down now.  We spent the day at the beach, and the pool and going for long walks.  They are getting to experience a different culture and they are falling in love with the islands like their mom and dad.  We are living in a time of complete denial of what we face when we get back home.  I am in so much denial, I almost don't want to type it.  I will though.  We are moving to the Seattle area as soon as the kids get out of school in June.  We are following Mike over.  He has taken a position in his company, doing the same thing he is doing now, in a territory that involves no overnight travel.  This is coming after Mike's schedule has increased his travel to 3 to 4 nights a week.  When we have growing maturing boys, that schedule would not work for long.  Boys need their dads home.  They need daddy interaction.  They need daddy discipline.  They need daddy love.  We are so excited for this change and what it will mean for our family.  What we aren't excited for is the loss of the closeness of our friends, and our school community and our church family.  We have been here for 7 years, so we are rooted here.  It is going to hurt a lot more to pull up those roots than it ever has before.  I can't think about that part of the move.  It just makes me sad.  I also want to continue to deny that I have to prepare a house to put on the market with 5 kids pretty much acting against my efforts constantly.  The natural state of the universe is chaos, and my kids embrace that concept.  It takes all my efforts to maintain a somewhat neat and tidy house, but if I am required to keep it "on the market" perfect, I may never sleep.  I am going to lay it down at the feet of my Lord, and realize he has a plan for us, and I can rest in that assurance.  The way this move has come about has been a gift from God.  I will tell you the story if you want to hear it sometime.  But I will say one night we were praying and we prayed God would make it easy.  He has.  I will just continue to rest in the knowledge that he does have a plan and I will not stress.  For now, I am going to continue to live in denial while I am enjoying sunshine and sand, and family closeness, and joy.  Love to you all.

 Swimming in the hotel pool

 Large guy on the street with the Gator

 We stopped to watched a hula group

 First walk along the beach

 Pool time

 Super swimmer was so cold when she got out of the pool

Just the seven of us

Life continues.  We are a family of seven and I no longer panic when I think about that.  It is funny how now, when Mike offers to take two kids, I am like, "awesome, I only have three".  It is cute to realize that we used to think it was tough with just our little Brandt.  I giggle now when I have just one, feeling like I am getting away with something.  Controlled chaos is what we now live.  It is exciting most of the time.  This afternoon as we were getting out of the car at AWANA, Grace was on the verge of letting go of her stomach contents, fighting a stomach bug, when all of a sudden, Holden is falling out of the car on his head.  Interesting.  Well, I checked him out to make sure he didn't have a concussion, I am quite good at that now, and while I was checking on him, Ainsley wasn't paying attention to where she was going and she ran into a sign.  I couldn't help but just start laughing.  I hope Ainsley didn't see me, because she will need counseling, "why did my mom laugh when I got hurt?", but it was so ridiculous that I couldn't help myself.  It was crazy.  We made it into AWANA with no further incident.  Mom of the year.  

We celebrated Grace's 2nd birthday last week.  We also had her "introduced" at our church, which is very similar to dedication, but our church doesn't dedicate babies.  It was so neat to have so many family and friends there supporting us in that moment.  It has been a journey to bring Grace to her family, and it has been amazing to have the support that we have had.  Through encouragement, prayer or any of the other ways we have been supported, we have learned what a neat "family" we have.  We have learned that family includes those that are related, and those that you choose to keep close as dear friends.  Grace wore the same dress that I was dedicated in, and that Ainsley was dedicated in.  My mom made it for me, so it was very sentimental.  She was so sweet.  After church, we came home and had others join us for a celebration of Grace's second birthday.  Ainsley kept going around telling everyone it was her first birthday, which was true, because it was her first birthday she ever had celebrated.  And boy did she celebrate.  She loved her cake and she enjoyed opening her presents.  It was fun and it was great to get together with those we love.  We are approaching the date of her second surgery.  I am dreading it a bit.  I don't want to see her in pain, and we are told the palate surgery is tougher than the lip.  She is wanting to communicate so badly, it will be nice if she is able to make all the necessary sounds to make words.  She has picked on a number of signs, but she still resorts to screeching to get what she wants.  We can't wait until she can find her voice and communicate with less screaming.  

 Wyatt at his first basketball game of the year.

 Party time

 Yum, I like cake.

 Thanks Mom and Aunt Pat for being here.

 Birthday dinner at Red Robin.

 We took the girls to the Ag show and they climbed the tractors.

 Ainsley likes to steal my phone and take random pictures.

 Decorations for the party

 Two year pictures.

 Daddy and Ainsley working on AWANA

 Grace in the hand me down dedication gown.

We head out for vacation in a week.  We are going to unplug and relax and spend some quality time as a family.  We are ready for a big break, that we don't have to worry about schedules or homework or practices.  It is going to be fabulous.  

February already?

Greetings friends and family.  I know I have been absent for quite some time now and I just want you all to know, the Kelly crew is still alive and well, and crazy busy.  Life with five is swamping me.  I feel like I am walking through water and my nose and mouth are barely sticking out when I tip my head way back.  I am sure everyone can relate.  The kids are going in so many different directions, that I think I must have over scheduled them.  Well, when I break it down to each kid and what they are involved with, it is actually an appropriate amount of activities, and they are all thriving, not getting burned out.  It is just the cumulative schedules that are about to push me over the edge ;).  I have tried to evaluate each kid and what their individual needs are, and make a decision on them as an individual before making blanket decisions for the group.  I know at times I have agreed to too much, but it is beneficial to each kid individually.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but I have found peace in my crazy schedule, knowing each kid is cared for and given an opportunity to excel in something.  And I also get a day or two a week on the mountain to recenter.  The sun has been hidden behind layers of fog here at home, but I can drive about 40 minutes, then ride a lift for about 15 and find glorious sun.  It is what helps me keep my sanity.  It allows me to bask in God's glory for a bit and arrive back to earth refreshed.  I have only been snowboarding about 4 years, but it has become my favorite activity.  I have helped teach 3 of my kids how to do it, but after working with Ainsley, I may be done.  She is an athlete, so she is naturally good at it.  It is a challenge to get her to mentally commit to it.  She will be just great heading down the hill, then she will lay down and refuse to get up and start giggling and just grinning at me wondering what I am so annoyed over.  She is really cute, so I can't get too frustrated, but she knows how to push my buttons.  I think Grace may ski.  After trying to snowboard for a couple of years, Mike has decided he is bent more towards skis.  He took a lesson and has been practicing the last couple times we have gone up, and he seems to be improving quickly.  He feels much more in control than when he was on a board.  I think we will be hitting the slopes again as a family soon.  Right now we are trading off, one adult on the mountain, and one in the lodge with those left behind.  Since I am teaching Ainsley, she and I hang out along with Grace, while Mike and the boys do laps on the bunny hill.  When I head out with the boys, we get to go to the top of the mountain.  The lodge is entertaining for Grace.  She seems to think she owns the place and manages to make several friends while she is in there waiting.  She has acquired so many of the characteristics of her siblings, I guess you could make a good case for nurture versus nature.  Either that, or God matched her up with our family, because she was so much like the others.  She is not shy, though she always makes sure she knows where mom and dad are.  She is adventurous and outgoing.  She makes friends easily.  She also has a lot of energy and loves to run around.  I think you can all blame me for the fact that my kids "have a lot of energy".  It seems to be something I do to them :).  We are loving our new addition and can't imagine life without her.  More often now, I forget that she came from somewhere other than my womb.  I think of her as an almost two year old, and her behaviors are because of who she is and how old she is rather than the fact that she was institutionalized for 20 months of her life.  She clings to us when she is scared or uncomfortable, but she is also willing to give a stranger a chance.  She is learning to trust people, and she is making relationships with people outside our family.  Like I said, it is hard to remember life without her.  Now, those of you with families my size or bigger (I know that is a small group), do you ever feel under control?  Do you ever see calm, where all I see is chaos?  Does it get easier as the kids get older?  I know I will make it through.  I have an awesome partner, who I also think is hot, and I have God, who answers my prayers.  I turn to them everyday in an almost desperate way, knowing I could never make it through this alone.  Thank you to all of you that have offered and extended support.  It has carried me through some of the times that have seemed a bit impossible.
On the practical side of things, we are gearing up for Grace's second surgery on March 28th.  Our prayer is that it is successful and no fissures open up, causing more surgery.  We also pray we have an easy time in the hospital.  Grace doesn't like being slowed down, so trying to keep her calm once she starts feeling better gets to be a challenge.  We are also going to be more prepared with food she likes and will eat.  Hospital food is awful.  Her lip healed beautifully and we can't believe what a difference it has made.  We hope for the same healing in her palate.
The kids are in the middle of basketball season.  Brandt is winding down, he only has 2 more AAU games, and a handful of school games.  He took a 4 week break with his broken wrist, but he now has his cast off and has healed so he is returning to the court.  Wyatt and Holden both started last week and love it.  We are keeping it casual for Holden, because he seems to have an interest in gymnastics right now.  We may keep that option open for him in the future, and see where it leads.  Ainsley and Grace are now both involved in gymnastics.  Grace has developed so much already in the class.  We are using it as our own physical therapy to help her develop her gross motor skills, because that is where she was furthest behind.  I was so excited last week when she final walked on the beam.  She refused to even put her feet on it until then.  She has already made huge strides in her confidence walking on different mats.  It has been neat to watch.  Whether or not she becomes a great gymnast is not important right now.  It is all about the little things.  Ainsley continues to entertain me with her theatrics during ballet class.  That kid may end up on the stage.  She has a flare for the dramatic.  The boys are still in piano, which they love (insert sarcasm), and Brandt is doing some indoor soccer.  When I write it out like that, it doesn't seem too bad, right?  Anyway, they are all enjoying life and doing well in school and coming home tired at night.  What more can a mom ask for?  I will now include a few pictures and sign off, knowing it may be a bit before I get this much time to sit and write on my computer.  Oh well.  Life is good.

These two are Brandt getting his cast on and getting his cast off.  Good times.

 Wyatt on the slopes.  We are teaching him to carve.  Very exciting.

Grace, Ainsley and I went to work with Mike.  Fun times.

We had a leak in our master bath, so Mike got to do some home repairs this month. 

Holden got new skis and he loves them.

3 months home

I was looking back at pictures from our trip to China.  I can't look at them without tears in my eyes.  I love to see how much our baby has changed, but it is painful to remember how neglected and scared she was.  People constantly ask me if she is adjusting to us and if she is attaching OK.  I want everyone to know, she seems to be doing just fine.  She looks for me to hold her for comfort and when she is grumpy.  She looks for me in the crowd if she has gotten adventurous and walked away from her family.  She comes to me when she gets hungry, knowing I will have food for her.  She knows that she can come to me after she has thrown a fit, and I will hug her and let her know I love her.  She is so typical of our other nearly two year olds.  I love to see normal emotion and light in her eyes.  She still has rough nights.  She still tries to comfort herself, forgetting that is what Mommy is here for.  I hope someday, she will forget what it felt like to be alone.

 Wyatt and Ainsley doing horse surgery.

 Trying to get the two girls sitting together and looking at the camera proved to be a challenge.

 Hey, you are my cousin!!!!!

 This is how we warm up in January.  

 Just a cute pic of my little one.

We have hit a slight lull in our schedule.  Brandt has taken a week off with a snowboarding injury, so we haven't had to run him to basketball, soccer or piano yet this week.  We are heading back in to the doc to see if he might have broke his wrist.  That would loosen our schedule for a bit longer.  Blessings in accidents.  I hope he isn't broken, but I know he will heal quickly and be back at it before too long.  We have moved into the time of year when we all get cabin fever.  The snow is old and no fun outside, so we are forced to stay inside more.  I hope to get us back to the mountain before too long, but it is looking like a cold weekend.  It is this time of year I become very dissatisfied with where I live.  I need to be outside to keep my sanity, so this time of year I struggle.  Snowboarding helps, so hopefully I will be able to get out there this weekend.  I am teaching Ainsley to ride this year and she is doing excellent.  Wyatt is learning to carve.  Brandt and Holden are awesome and having a great season, other than the wrist injury.